Humble beginnings remind me that the present stresses are not always what they amount to be. Sure it may be easy to say inside that we are where we are meant to be, while also doing our diligence to remain stoked in that blue flame and temper it so we burn bright sustainably. It’s not easy, nor is it supposed to be and I will be the first to humbly admit that.
2019 has been a rollercoaster of emotions, right now as I listen to a class recording I did in 2014 in a community centre- I hear the passion and enthusiasm in my voice leading a vinyasa practice. The newness and the gratitude to be present and lead the general public through their moving meditation and breathing, the responsibility and privilege to offer a peice of peace of mind as well. The ability to be a conduit for others to face themselves however they show up that day, with no judgment and pure grace… I need to constantly remind myself of those aspects.
To stand true in my morals, ethics, values and integrity while expressing my truth and boundaries as a person/teacher has been a testament to Svadhyaya (self-study) and learning how to compassionately and respectfully communicate those exact needs to others.
The old me was a pushover and kept quiet, not wanting to cause conflict for risk of losing an opportunity or opening- be it a social gathering with those groups of people I always felt lesser too, to accept more shifts at the desk job I once had to prove I was competent and a team player at my own sacrifice and wellness, or agreeing to a class that maybe I would have best let someone else accept that time around.
For me today and how I choose to approach my life as a teacher and outside teaching, I have allowed myself to surrender that ego to prove myself to others, to stand out in a crowd whether purposefully or unintentionally, to have a certain image or physique or branding/social media style to appeal to a more mainstream audience and potentially furthering my visibility in the general public as a studio teacher and so forth.
We need to embrace diversity and welcome everyone from the black sheeps to the mainstream and know IT IS ALL BEAUTIFUL AND ACCEPTED!

What's Your Heart Feeling?

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